It's funny how God will choose any manner of ways to speak to us. Maybe He is always speaking, trying different avenues of getting our attention until one day, it finally clicks and we hear Him. He is so patient that way.
My kids and I have been watching Game of Thrones and yesterday they wanted me to take an online quiz to determine which character I was. Not putting much stock in the outcome, I told them that I got Arya Stark. Later that night as we sat down to begin binge watching Game of Thrones in preparation for the new season coming out in a few days, we started at Season 6, and that's when many pieces began to come together in my heart.
Arya in Season 6, was in the midst of trying to become someone else, "No one" actually. But she had been struck blind and was sitting on the dirty street begging for coins. Then her nemesis, the Waif, came by and started hitting her with a big stick and taunting her to get up and fight. Finally, the Master came by and he offered her many things in exchange for her going back to her old identity, if she would only say her name. She would not. She could not be bought and she would not go back. He finally took her by the hand and said, "Come, follow me... A girl is not a beggar anymore."
(By the way, wasn't Jesus always telling people to come, follow me?)
I was reminded of the story from when Jesus walked the earth, and he came to the house where the little girl had died. He went in with those closest to her, as well those closest to him. Mark 5:41 tells us, "Holding her hand, he said to her, "Talitha koum," which means "Little girl, get up!" With those two words, he was announcing that she wasn't dead anymore. She was alive and well and everyone marveled and rejoiced in the goodness the Savior.
I have often read this passage. In fact, I have even preached this passage. But today, it hit me especially hard. The two examples came together and did a number on my heart. I have been living under the weight of survival, unable to dream, unwilling to make changes that allow me to get up. I have been stuck. My kids and my dearest friends, have all been shouting, GET UP! but nothing anyone said could help me up. I needed the words of the Master.
Last night, I heard the Lord loud and clear as He called out, "Little girl, get up! You are not a beggar anymore!"
This was miracle news. The best news. I am not a beggar anymore. I don't have to beg for scraps from someone else's table. God has given me my own table and I can feast there any time I want. I am not held down by others or even by the thoughts in my own mind. I am free and surrounded by opportunities so vast - He has prepared a table for me!
The question is, will I choose to listen to only His voice? Will I choose to get up? Will I choose freedom? I cannot say with absolute certainty in the long run that my answer will be the right one but I want it to be. So I determine not to look too far down the road. Not to even look to tomorrow. I will look at today, and I will say Yes. I will say yes and I will get up today. I will remember today. I am not a beggar anymore.