The first day of school jitters. Ugh, it felt ridiculous. "I'm a grown woman...I'm too old for this nonsense", I kept telling myself. Yet there I was, standing in line with a thousand others, probably thinking the same thing.
The older we get the more responsibilities we carry. Our family, our children, our jobs, our future, our retirement, we fight for these things our entire lives. I have been a mother for 25 years! From a pastoral perspective, I have been the mother of a church for many years too. Charged with keeping a close and careful eye on all who were a part of my church family. It was as if God connected wifi to the precious people there, and only a few of us had the password. What a privilege to carry the code. As I watched with my natural eyes, He supernaturally downloaded to my heart the encouragement and exhortation they needed to grow.
Now there I was standing in line to register for school at Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry and it just felt awkward. It felt like I just did not fit. I did not have the wifi password for these people! That overwhelming feeling began making me think about all the people who enter churches for the first time all around the world, and how they must feel. Perhaps it feels like stepping into a secret club where they don't yet know the customs or language of that community. It takes a lot of courage to stay.
We as Christians carry heaven within us. We are to carry the very nature of God, the culture of heaven into every situation we walk in to. It is absolutely counter cultural to society around us. Least is greatest, first is last, week is strong. to the normal human, it is upside down. In fact, Jesus was constantly instilling heaven's culture into those around Him. He said to enter the Kingdom, we must become like children.
Well, I did that this week. I became one of the kids. As I stand back a survey my first day, I am left with 4 thoughts:
1. When I feel off kilter, I can lean on the One who knows me by name.
2. I don't have to carry the weight of the world, I can cast my cares on Him.
3. He wants me to come to Him as a child and begin to delight and wonder as only a kid could.
4. Be patient with myself, fitting into a new family takes time.
1 John 3:2 says it so well, "Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when Christ appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is." (NIV)
Maybe you are like me, maybe you have a tendency to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. Today I would like to encourage you. Take just a moment and get alone with God. Close your eyes, see yourself as a child and climb up on Papa's lap and just sit there. Let Him hold you close. It is in His presence that peace comes, that your true identity is revealed as a son or daughter of this Father who loves you so very much. He is for you! He is cheering you on. Let Him be strong when you feel weak. Be the kid you were created to be.
I think His greatest desire is for us to enjoy His presence, let Him be in charge, and simply enjoy being one of His kids.